Month: November 2019

Grandma’s Bright Eyes

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I thought I would post something related to Thanksgiving this week.  My childhood memories for Thanksgiving are focused on my mom’s side of the family.  I don’t think we ever celebrated Thanksgiving with the Landry side of my family.  If we did, I’ll need a reminder.  Photos would be helpful.  Since my memories of Thanksgiving were associated with the Bucklin side of the family, I went in search of associated photos.

Fred Bucklin, Jodie Lou Landry, and Myrtle Phenice Bucklin in May of 1954. I think this was at my  great grandmother Addie Bucklin’s house in Hathaway, Louisiana.

This is what I found.  It doesn’t have anything to do with Thanksgiving, but it does have my Bucklin grandparents in it with my oldest sister Jodie.  How could I not choose this photo?  Actually, it chose me.  My grandmother’s eyes literally reached out and grabbed me. 

I spent some time last night cleaning up this scan so I could share it everyone.  Not only is it a great photo of my grandmother, but it is really good of Grandpa and Jodie.  For those of you who may not know, my mom was Betty Lou Bucklin Landry, and she was the daughter of this couple.  Fred D. Bucklin was born Oct. 2, 1907, in Roanoke, Louisiana, and Myrtle Sylvia Bucklin was born Dec. 19, 1906, in Hathaway.

The photo was taken May of 1954, which is seven months after Jodie was born.  Since Jodie was born when my dad was stationed in California with the Air Force, this is likely the first time Grandma and Grandpa got to see little Jodie Lou.  She wasn’t their first grandchild.  Mom’s older sister Sylvia already had two sons.  But Jodie was their first granddaughter.  She was their only granddaughter for less than a year.  Little Toni was already on her way – she’d be born that August.

A few years later our numbers would grow to twenty.  The Thanksgiving get-togethers out at Grandma and Grampa’s in Hathaway were great.  The food was always so good and plentiful – turkey with gravy, dressing, ham, potatoes, and other savory dishes.  But then there was dessert – pecan pie, brownies, toffee bars, and cakes.  The all time best, though, was Grandma’s divinity.   With all of that food, you’d think we’d be too full to move.  But we were kids, and that didn’t stop us.  We ran.  We played tag.  We had satsuma-eating contests.  We played chicken freeze tag.  I wish I could say ‘we’ played with fire out by the old bamboo stand, but somehow I always missed out on that activity.  I may have been too busy playing with the sock monkey.  I guess I can’t really complain.

So ‘Happy Thanksgiving’ to all of my Bucklin cousins!  I still think of you all fondly.  Happy Thanksgiving to everyone else, as well.  May it be safe and joyful.

Mee Maw in the Golden Light

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When I was thinking about what I was going to write this week, I definitely knew that it had to be something less dark and gloomy.  The last few weeks my posts have been about death and hardship.  And last week’s topic was about multiple deaths and it was exceedingly long.  (As has been pointed out to me!)  So this week I decided to do something short and sweet and light.  With that prerequisite and the fact that it was time to do a Patureau topic, I decided on this photo that I acquired earlier this year.

Mee Maw with a few of her grandchildren in 1959.

This is a photo of my paternal grandmother Germaine Erie Patureau Landry.  She was known as Erie from the early part of her life.  Later she became Mama, and I knew her as Mee Maw.  When I saw this photo, I knew immediately that I would be sharing it on my blog.  It was taken in Lake Charles, Louisiana, in August of 1959.  There was a date printed on the border of the photo, and the ages of my first cousins looks about right for that date. 

The blond boy with the striped shirt is Mark Reeves, the son of Marie Landry Reeves and Malloy Reeves.  The other three children are the offspring of Germaine Landry Winn and Ross Winn.  The boy in the white shirt is Doug, the little girl with the blond curly hair is Phyllis, and the dark haired girl with the smile is Daphne.  We can thank Daphne for sharing this photo with me.  Thanks Daphne!

This photo was taken before I was born, but I sure wish there was a photo of me with Mee Maw that has this same glorious look.  The lighting is just perfect.  I’m sure it is light coming from the western setting sun.  It’s so dreamy looking.  Maybe it’s just me, but I also think it portrays my grandmother in the way that all of us grandchildren feel about her.  She looks so happy to be with her grandchildren, because they were each special to her.  Why else would we all continue to claim to be her favorite?

And you know what?  I was her favorite.  I know she thought I was special!

The Sad History Surrounding Joe Bucklin

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Joseph C. Bucklin, circa 1909. I remember when I first saw his photo, I thought he looked handsome and prosperous and that this might have led to him having things go his way rather regularly. I learned otherwise.

I’ve already written A Sad Story about Joe Bucklin.  He was my great uncle.  Or was he my great great uncle?  Whichever he was, he was my great grandfather Louis Charles Bucklin’s older brother.  And boy did he have a sad story to tell.  I wrote the first story about it three years ago, then followed up on it a year later with a Surplus Sunday about the Bucklins, the Ausmans, the MacVeys.  The second story talked about Joe Bucklin’s history, but then veered off into some other family history.

This time I want to keep the focus on Joe.  He does seem to be the center of a large number of tragic events in both the Bucklin and Ausman families.  Joe was married to two of the Ausman sisters.  Both of the sisters died, as did young daughters by each of them.  Since I wrote those other two stories, I have collected more and more information about the Bucklin and Ausman families.  I have no relation to the Ausman family, but I was intrigued with all of the misfortune that befell them and our poor Joe.  Recently I’ve gotten some answers to things that I had been wondering about, so now is the time for the story I’ve been planning.

Joe Bucklin was born in Massachusetts in 1861 to James Bucklin and his second wife Mary Ann McGrath Bucklin.  He had an older half-brother and half-sister by his father and his father’s first wife.  He also had an older sister Jennie by James and Mary Ann.  The family moved to Iowa around 1863 and a year later James and Mary Ann had another son named Edd.  In 1866, the family moved to Delaware County in Iowa.  My great grandfather Lou was born there in 1873.  The 1880 Census shows the family still living in Delaware County.

The Ausman family was from Canada.  By 1873 Samuel and his wife Jane had eight children: Phillip, John, Jennie, Evaline, Lambert, Minnie, Aggie, and Ida.  At that point they decided to move to the United States, and they too picked Delaware County in Iowa as their new home.  They had their sixth daughter, little May Ausman, in Iowa.  I’m assuming that the Ausmans and the Bucklins must have met each other at this point. 

If they did meet each other and become friends, that didn’t keep the Ausmans from moving to Nebraska in the late 1870s.  Once they were there, they had their fourth son.  His name was Willie and he was the last of a total of ten children.  Sadly, there was only a two year period when all ten of the siblings were alive at the same time.  In April of 1881 the first of several deaths occurred when 18-year-old Evaline died.  The only connection to Joe Bucklin was that the families probably knew each other at this point.  Joe was almost two years older than her, so they were peers.  The next few deaths become much more personal to Joe.

About five years after the Ausmans move from Delaware County, the Bucklins moved to Jefferson Davis Parish in southern Louisiana.  James, Joe, and Jennie were able to obtain homesteads in 1884.  Lou was still too young, though he and his future wife would be the ones who would care for the farm for many years to come.  Those first few years were a lot of hard work involved with clearing the land and building roads and bridges.  I’m not sure of James’ participation in all of that.  He was likely involved, though for only a few years.  He died in 1890 at the age of 69.  Joe was 29 at the time and I’m sure it hit him hard.

I’m not sure how, where, or when the Ausmans and Bucklins came back together again, but there are clues.  In Samuel Ausman’s obituary it said that he had spent some time farming in Louisiana.  His daughter Jennie got married to Charles Henry McKague in Nebraska in 1882, but by 1892 they were living in southern Louisiana.  The families must have lived close by, because in 1893 Lou Bucklin mentions the McKague name in his journal.  In the letter that May wrote to Lou in 1893, she talks about the cold weather in Iowa and how it is a different cold than in the south.  They had just recently moved to Iowa again, so it could be that they had just moved from the south.  So if Samuel did farm in Louisiana, it had to have been in the early 1890s.

That would explain why the McKagues moved there.  It would also explain how Joe and Aggie got together.  Joe and Aggie were married in December of 1892.  This was just a few months before another tragedy befell the Bucklin family.  Joe’s older sister Jennie died in June of 1893 at the age of 36.  That is such a young age to die, yet his wife and four of her sisters never reached that age.  Evaline had died in 1881 at the age of 18, and the next one to die in the Ausman family was Jennie.

Jane Ausman (in the middle) with daughters Minnie, May, Ida, and Aggie. This was taken around 1897. Two of Jane’s daughters had died previously, and three more would die in the next six years. Such tragedy for the Ausman family. They were left with only one daughter: Minnie. Seeing three of her sisters die in southern Louisiana made her steer clear of the place. She ended up living in Clear Lake, Washington, about the farthest place in the continental United States from Jefferson Davis Parish, Louisiana. She lived into her sixties.

Jennie was 34 years old when she died around 1896.  She was the mother of six children 13 years old and younger.  When I was finding out more about the Ausman family, I had wondered if there were descendants alive today.  With so many tragedies back then, I didn’t know.  So I did a little exploring with the family and found some descendants.  The most surprising thing I found was for the descendants of Jennie.  I actually graduated from high school with one of her descendants!  You just never know.

Around this same time Joe and Aggie moved from Lake Charles, Louisiana, to Jennings.  They also had their second daughter named Gladys.  (Though Gladys may be the daughter of Ida Ausman MacVey and an unknown father.)  Joe and Aggie’s first daughter Leola was born in 1893.  They had a son named Harold on July 15, 1899, during the few years of calm they had.  But that calm came to an end not long after he was born.

On August 8, 1899, Agnes “Aggie” Ausman Bucklin died at the age of 28.  This third Ausman sister death was definitely the most difficult one by far for our Joe.  It was his wife of only a short seven years!  Yet to make matters worse, their 6-year-old daughter Leola died on December 28, 1899.  The next few months must have been difficult for Joe.  It was so difficult that his mother Mary Ann went to stay with him to help out.  In another tragic twist, his mother ended up getting sick with the flu and she died April 10, 1900.  Poor, poor, Joe.

Willie Ausman, with Ida, May, and Jane Ausman. Circa 1897. This was taken during a short interval between the death of Janet “Jennie” Ausman McKague in late 1895 or early 1896 and the death of Ella “May” Ausman on Sept. 8, 1900. During that time, all three of these Ausman children got married. Willie Ausman got married to Edna O’Neal on October 16, 1899. They were witness at his sister May’s wedding the following day. Edna signed her name as “Mrs. Willie Ausman.” May and Bert did not live to see their first anniversary. Willie and Edna were married for over 45 years. Ida married Joe Bucklin on November 15, 1900.

Meanwhile, May Ausman had gotten married to Bert Lukenbill  on October 17, 1899.  When I tell you that, you may think that I’m leading this story to something more positive and upbeat.  But I’m not.  This is one of the most recent facts that I have discovered.  I knew that May had died before 1910;  I reported that previously.  But I didn’t know the particulars of where, when, and how.  Now I do.

When the Lukenbills got married in late 1899, they decided to move south for health reasons for Bert.  They ruled out southern Louisiana, maybe because two of May’s sisters had already died there.  So they decided to try somewhere new.  As Ausman luck would have it, they decided on Galveston, Texas.  Does anyone know what happened in Galveston in 1900?  I’ll tell you.  There was a huge hurricane that hit the city on September 8.  The city was hit hard and thousands of people died.  The newspapers reported that “everything between M and P streets had been wiped away by the tidal wave…”  Bert and May lived on O street and they were never seen alive again.  May was 25 years old at the time.

Oh, the choices we make!  If May had decided to move to Jennings, Louisiana, where her brother-in-law Joe lived, she may have lived a long time.  Or if she had decided to marry Lou Bucklin instead of dropping him like a hot potato in 1893, she also might have lived a long time.  But if that had happened, I wouldn’t be here writing this terrible tale.  So here I am writing about her untimely death.

Newspaper article from Sept. 18, 1900, about deaths in Galveston, Texas.

When Bert and May’s parents heard about the destruction and didn’t hear from their children, they decided that they needed someone to go into the devastation and seek out any information.  So who did they contact?  Why Joe Bucklin of course.  What’s a little more death and tragedy to deal with for him?  He’s used to it.  So he headed to ground zero shortly after disaster struck.  He was unable to find any trace of them.   A month later the Lukenbills received a telegram saying that Bert’s body had been found and buried. 

What a year for Joe.  During that yearlong period his wife died, his daughter died, his mother died, his sister-in-law and brother-in-law died and he was sent to search for any sign of them.  But do you know what else was going on during this period?  He must have been seeing Ida Ausman, because he got married to her on Nov. 15, 1900.  Did they fall in love while grieving over the deaths of family members?  Stranger things have happened.

So Joe and Ida settled in Jennings.  Joe and his brother Edd had a business called “Bucklin Bros.” in downtown Jennings that seemed to be very successful.  Things calmed down…for a short time.  You know where this is leading.  You might be thinking, “If he’s still writing, more tragedy is coming.”  And you’d be correct.

And by telling you that Joe and Ida welcomed a bouncing baby girl in July of 1903, that shouldn’t convince you to let your guard down.  They named their little girl Ida May after her mother and her most recently deceased aunt.  Two months later, on September 5, 1903, Ida Ausman Bucklin died at the age of 30.  Joe must have had the worst case of deja vu ever.  Four years after his first wife died, his second wife (and sister to his first) died.  And like that terrible year in 1899, a few months later it was followed with the death of a daughter.  Little Ida May Bucklin died on December 16, 1903, at just five months old.

Dec. 17, 1903, issue of the Jennings Daily Times Record.

What a painful story to write!  Can you see why I became so intrigued with the Ausman family that intertwines with my Bucklin family?  Every bit of information I would find would bring a new glimpse of some painful event in their lives.  My great grandfather witnessed all of these event and it must have been difficult for him to see his brother going through all of that. 

Joe would go on to get married again two years later.  He did not father any more children.  His brother Edd died in 1911, and after that the Bucklin Bros store eventually closed.  Joe and his wife moved out of state and he died of the flu in 1918 at the age of 57.  His son Harold moved to North Carolina where he died in 1926 at the age of 27.  He was the last in the line of Joseph C. Bucklin.

Hey, look!  A Happy Story About Joe Bucklin!

Jodie – 30 Years gone

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It’s difficult to believe that thirty years have passed since the death of my oldest sister Jodie.  She was only 36 years old when she died and all five of us siblings have long passed that age.  One of the things she said to me when she was dying is, “I want you to remember me young and cute.”  That was an easy thing to do.  And it gets easier every passing year. 

Oct. 14, 1957 – Jodie on her 4th birthday. This was taken when we lived in Lake Charles, Louisiana.

I decided to use this week’s post to show a few photos of her during each decade of her life.  I also thought I’d share some of the writing from my journal for the year of her death.   So that is what will follow this paragraph.

Jodie died at 12:15 in Mamma’s arms on November 6, 1989.  I write this with tears in my eyes two weeks later.  I love her and will miss being able to talk to her and be with her.  She has always been there since I was born.  The first child and I was the fifth.  My earliest memory is from when we lived in Lake Charles and I was less than two years old.  I remember sitting near the end of the driveway at 1317 Clover Drive with her.  She was playing jacks and I was watching her.  All of my memories of her seem to be sunny now.  I like that.

In February Jodie called to let me know that she would be having surgery on Tuesday February 21 in the morning.  She called each of us siblings because she wanted the news to be heard from her.  The surgery was for what they thought was a hernia in her stomach.  When they did a CAT scan of her abdomen, they discovered a tumor at the bottom of her rib cage on the right side.  The surgery became exploratory and they later did tests on the tumor.  Sometimes later she let us know that it was lymphoma, a type of cancer that is easily cured (IF caught early enough).  The doctors felt positive in being able to get rid of it.

Rob, Al, Jodie, Karen, Jamie, and Van Landry in November of 1965 at 758 Lucy Street in Jennings, Louisiana. That’s our dog Princess in the photo with all of her puppies.

She began chemotherapy some time in March.  I called and talked to her on March 19, 1989, and told her about getting to meet Amy Grant two days earlier.  Jamie was there visiting and she told me that she was pregnant for the third time.

Sat. April 8, 1989 – Rene & Michael’s wedding day.  The wedding was nice.  Had good visit with college friends at reception.

May 7, 1989 – Crawfish boil with The Phone volunteers.  Yum!

May 12, 1989 – 10 yr reunion from high school.  It was fun to see everyone.

May 20, 1989 – Bought car stereo so trip to Jodie’s next week wouldn’t seem so long.  Called Mama for her birthday.

I went to visit Jodie and Randy and Chris and Kyle on Friday, May 26, 1989.  I got there around 7:30.  We had a good visit.  Jodie was in about her eleventh week of chemotherapy.  It was really toxic to the body.  She had lost weight and her hair.  She tired easily and needed lots of rest. 

May 27, 1989 – Went to the Rhodes’ camp after going to see Chris play T-ball…

Jamie, Jodie, and Karen in Jennings on December 24, 1978.

May 28, 1989 – Went to eat at Dairy Queen.  Then we came back and watched “Robin Hood” and “American Tail.”  I talked with Jodie and Chris.  Jodie says he’s been a big help for her.  Getting things for her and taking care of himself more.  She says she’s trying to prepare them to do things for themselves…

During this time I decided to talk to her about the possibility of dying.  It is what we were all afraid of.  Why deny it and avoid it?  It is the thing that scared us the most.  I kept thinking it wasn’t as bad as other cases and that it shouldn’t be happening at all – not to our family.  But it was.

June 22, 1989 – Jodie called about doing a bone marrow donation… There was a possibility of doing a high powered chemotherapy that would destroy her bone marrow to get rid of any traces of cancer once the rest was in remission.

June 30, 1989 – Flew to Denver to visit Rob and Robyn.  Went hiking in the mountains and had lots of talks.

July 8, 1989 – Went to Winter Park for a music festival with Rob and Robyn.

July 15, 1989 – Went canoeing with young adult group with cousins Kim and Wade.

July 16, 1989 – Began getting depressed about Jodie.  Things just didn’t seem to be going good.  The chemotherapy didn’t do the trick… Things weren’t going as smoothly as they were supposed to be according to what the doctors first said.  The possibility of Jodie dying began to be real and that was depressing.

July 22, 1989 – Went with Kim to Evangeline Downs with a bunch of her (our) family. 

July 23, 1989 – I began to worry that Jodie was going to die quickly.  Like she was going to go to the hospital for chemotherapy and die.  I was planning a vacation and worried that she would die while I was gone and I wouldn’t hear about it.

July 28, 1989 – With help from Kim, Rex, Lisa, and Mary, moved some of my stuff to my new apartment.  Apt. 107 at Concord Estates.  Diane let me borrow her truck.

August 12, 1989 – Went to Mom and Dad’s in Jennings.  We went to the Hine family reunion.   There were pretty many people there.  Played horseshoes.  Back to Baton Rouge for going away party for Megan and Ruben.

Aug. 18, 1989 – Started vacation.

Aug. 21, 1989 – museums in Washington, DC

Aug. 25, 1989 – Went to the Statue of Liberty…

Aug. 28, 1989 – Went on the “Freedom Trail” in Boston

Aug. 30, 1989 – Back home

Sept. 1, 1989 – Chris’s 8th birthday.  Called and talked to Jodie and Chris.  Told her about my vacation, especially about the bear.  We had a good talk.

Sept. 3, 1989 – Went to Houma for Sarah’s 5th birthday.  Went to Sarah’s birthday party at bowling alley.  It was fun.  Later on everyone was sick and throwing up.

Sept. 18, 1989 – 2 years at BBECI.  Talked to Bob.  I got an eleven % raise because of re-evaluation.  I’m now making almost $30, 000 a year.  Good enough to keep me…  I’d like more, but don’t want to make any more major changes in my life:  just moved, relationship change, and situation with Jodie…

Sept. 21, 1989 –  Called Jodie…  she said the tumor in her abdomen was growing even with the chemotherapy.  She couldn’t undergo another treatment because of her low blood count.  Things were not looking up at the moment…

Sept. 24, 1989 – Went to visit the Moving Wall and went to the library.  Al called to see if I wanted to go skiing in January…

Oct. 1, 1989 – Mamma called to let me know what the doctors said to Jodie:  There is no more chemotherapy to try.  All of it has been tried and none of it worked.  It just hurt her and the cancer stayed.  There was nothing hopeful that they could do.  It was a very disturbing phone call.  I just want to yell for it all to stop.  Sobbed a bit.

Randy, Jodie, Kyle and Chris Rhodes in 1988. Such a cute little family.

Called Jodie.  She sounded positive about the possibility of radiation treatment.  She wanted to try anything to make it.  Especially for Chris and Kyle.

Friday, October 6, 1989 – Last visit with Jodie.  Al and Rob and their wives were also there.  Jodie’s abdomen had swollen noticeably in the last few weeks.  It was a scary thing to see.  She was slow in her movements and tired easily.  She was in good spirits.  We all played Pictionary.  It was fun.

Oct. 7, 1989 – Got up and visited… She talked about the tumor growing so rapidly in the last weeks and was really frightened because there wasn’t much room for it to grow anymore.  Mamma was there and I remember her telling me years before that she did not want to experience the death of any of her children.  I started to remind her of  that, but I couldn’t.  All I could say was, “I remember you telling me…” and I couldn’t go any further.  After I tried a second time, she got up and left.  She must have figured that if I couldn’t say it, she didn’t want to hear it…  Jodie was giving us some old photos of hers.  She was pretty sure she was dying and want to give us a few things.  She worried about how everyone was handling it and wanted to help us deal with it.

We were watching Chris and Kyle play.  Jodie said she knew they would probably play like that after she died.  Soon after she died.  She understood that it didn’t mean they didn’t care.  Kids play.  She said she could imagine Randy getting remarried and they would be a family.   I asked her if that is what she wanted.  She said, “Yes, I want them to be happy.  I want them to have a mother to love them.  I know that no one will love them as much as I do.”  Rob and Robyn left during the day.  It was difficult watching them say their goodbyes.

Oct. 8, 1989 – Visited for a while with Jodie and the family.  Then it was time for me to leave.  Jodie and I walked outside.  The boys were riding bikes and just playing around.  I was standing at the driver’s door of my car and she was on the other side of the car.  It was sunny and she was trying to block the sun from her eyes.  We were talking about a lot of different things.  She told me that Dennis had called her and talked to her.  She said she was polite to him.  He was a big part of her life at one point.  She talked about her family now.  She thought that her little family was so good the way it was.  She really regretted not being able to see Chris and Kyle grow up.  She also realized that they would be OK without her.  She had come to accept things really well.  She still had hopes for their family of four to continue a while longer.

She said that she was hoping for the best and preparing for the worst.  She said that we are never guaranteed another day.  I could die in a car wreck on my way back to Baton Rouge.  At least she had had time to prepare herself and those she knows as best she can.  I decided it was time to leave.  We both thought it would be the last time we’d see each other.  We hugged each other and started crying.  We talked a little more and then hugged goodbye again.  It was difficult leaving.  One of the hardest things in my life.  I told the boys goodbye and pulled out of the driveway.  Jodie had Chris and Kyle in the front yard on the bench and they waved to me.  It was sunny and nice weather.  I think I will always remember this day.  It was the last time I saw her alive.

I didn’t really journal much after this.  Jodie got progressively worse during the month.  We spoke a few times, but she was very weak.  As I said earlier, she died on November 6.  Actually, according to my mom, she died shortly before midnight on the 5th.  The coroner was called and came over after midnight.  Her death was officially listed as the 6th.  The family all got together in Franklin, Texas, for the wake and funeral.  I remember how comforting it was to have extended family there.  The most comforting ones were my parents’ siblings.  My younger sister Jamie and her family wasn’t there because Jamie was giving birth to her youngest daughter Beth.  We heard about it between the viewing and the funeral itself.  Such a bittersweet day.

I still miss you, Jodie.