Four Years Gone

It has now been four years since the week that both of my parents died five days apart.  The anniversary of my mom’s death was two days ago and the anniversary of my dad’s death will be in three days.  Losing your parents in such a short time was rough.  It did seem appropriate that they had a joint funeral, since they had been happily married for 64 years.  Some people back then would say things like, “That’s kinda romantic, though.”  I have to say that at the time, there was nothing romantic about it to me.

They had been living in Assisted Living in Lake Charles, Louisiana, for two years and had grown very dependent on each other.  The main reason that they moved into Assisted Living is that my dad couldn’t keep up with my mom.  She was physically strong, but her memory was fading.  She could easily take a week’s worth of her medications on the same day and not realize it.  He was slowing down physically and finally took our advice to move out of their home.  We all thought it was for the best.

Three months before they died, my mom had a fall and broke her shoulder and her hip.  At the same time my dad became very weak with a few medical problems.  My mom’s physical problems got better, but my dad’s did not.  He had no energy and was extremely weak.  On that January 18th I got a call that he could be dying at any time.  Then later that night I got another call about my mom falling and hitting her head.  What actually happened is that she had a stroke and died the next morning.  My dad got progressively worse and died five days later.  Does that sound romantic?

But now, I have to admit, the sting of it all has eased up a bit.  If I’m not thinking too much about it, I can agree that it was somewhat romantic.  Anybody that knew them knew that they loved each other.  It was pretty obvious.  My mom told me years ago that that was the most important thing for children to know – that their parents loved each other.  Since that’s what she believed to be important, I figure I’d post a few photos to show how that love expanded through the years.

The first photo is from January of 1955.  By this time, they had already welcomed little Jodie into their circle of love.  Don’t they look like a sweet little family?  Yes, you’re right!  They need more.  My brother Rob would be joining them in a few months.  But as I once said in a song I wrote for their 50th wedding anniversary, “Two would never do.”  They had Jodie in California and Rob was born in April 1955 in Albuquerque, New Mexico.  I don’t know when they moved there, so the photo was taken either in California or New Mexico.  The rest of us kids – Karen, Al, Van, and Jamie – were born in Lake Charles.

You can see all of us kids in the second photo, which was taken in 1983.  From left to right is Jamie, Bob, Karen, Rob, Betty, Al, and Jodie.  This was taken at their house at 758 Lucy Street.  The family is definitely growing, as you can see.  Jodie gave them their first grandchild Chris in 1981.  And Karen had little James just a few months before this photo was taken.  My parents certainly enjoyed their roles as grandparent.  They taught them to sing, to paint, to play ping pong, to make Pappy biscuits, to make liver pie sandwiches – the list goes on.  Chris and James were the first two of twelve grandchildren that they would get to know and love over the years.  We would lose Jodie in 1989.  Those who are greatly loved are greatly missed.

The last photo was taken on November 27, 2008.  It was also taken at 758 Lucy Street.  But this time little James in that last photo is now a father himself.  So now Bob and Betty were great grandparents and they still had enough love to share with that little one!  Great grandson Hudson showed up in 2013 and Henry showed up on my mom’s last birthday in 2016.  Two more little ones to love.  My mom was losing her memory by this point.  She loved those kids – when she was reminded of who they were.

And all of this came about because a little Hathaway country girl met a slightly older boy from the big city of Lake Charles and they fell in love.  That’s sounds a little more romantic.